Two years ago I was on the trip from H. E. double hockey sticks. I went to D.C. with my mom to visit my grandmother and if any of you know anything about her you know why it was such an awful trip. Then, last year, I was in Seattle and it was just me and Andy. That was a little sadder then I expected it to be.
All in all I must say that I usually do and get more then I expect.
Perhaps it is a mental block, but birthdays in general make me very uncomfortable. The whole idea of a special day every year when we celebrate just me. I don't know if I'm comfortable with the idea of my life being celebrated, or maybe I just secretly desire the recognition, but don't want to seem vulnerable. Guess we'll never know.
I have been feeling really nervous about tomorrow and the excitement or disappointment it may or may not bring. In a way I just wish I could not have a birthday and then all the pressure would be off. Wouldn't that be nice.
In a way I guess what bugs me the most about my birthday is how it is not really about me. It's about everyone else celebrating me. It's all up to them what kind of a day I have. It's up to them to get gifts or a cake or take me out to lunch. I'm not supposed to organize any of this. Maybe what I feel anxious about isn't the attention at all, but the lack of control over the day that is supposed to be mine. How ironic.
This is a picture of Andy and I last year in Seattle on my birthday.
11 comments:
I feel the same way. That's why I stopped celebrating my birthday four years ago.
Cherie...yeah you have a blog. Happy birthday. Yeah I don't like birthday's really either. I hate the whole sharing money thing because it is like I am buying myself a present. And buying myself flowers thats even worse. The best part is I get to pick the restaurant and I don't have to get up in the night with any babies.
Cherie!!! I am so happy you have a blog. I think I remember your birthday four years ago...we went to the Provo pool hall. It was awesome. Anyway, Happy Birthday!
Great point about the money thing. I never want to get a present because I am so cheap and I know it's just coming out of my money pot.
Laura, was that when I was dating that neighbor of ours?
yay Cherie!! You have a blog!! I found you through Sam!! That is crazy my husbands birthday is the 30th too!! We really have no money to do anything, but my mom is in town so she is taking us out to dinner!!! Gotta love the mom!!! I hope you keep up your blog! I love spying on everyone too!!!
Tell him happy day from me. Glad someone is reading. And yes yours is one of the blogs that I read. Blogs are really alot cooler then I first thought. I used to be a blog hater prefering message boards. They are definately more efficient when it comes to discussion but blogs are so much more indulgent.
Yes!! I think you were dating that cop. It might have been more than four years ago. Man, time flys.
Cherie!! How sad is it I still want to call you Cheriefa. Will it ever end? I'm so glad you're blogging! I missed your phone call! Can you call me again, or give me your number? I don't think I can ever not think of your birthday on the last day of June. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I love you chica! I'm coming to SLC in 3 weeks!
Just for the record I never dated the cop. He was weird. I dated his brother. Who was also a little weird but rich and really nice.
Cassidy, I always think of your birthday too. july 14? right? maybe I'm a day off.
Yay one more blog to read and suck up my time!
I remember the cop AND his brother. They were both weird. But I think the brother was a little weirder (sorry Cherie!).
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