ode to my dog

I really like her.

Even when she poops on my floor. Even when she throws up several times a week and makes gaging noises every morning like clock work at 7:30 AM. Even when she farts when we have guests over. Even when she runs away whenever we take our eyes off her. Even when she becomes incontinent when ever she takes antibiotics. Even when she somehow opens the cupboard and gets into the garbage. Even when she gets old age warts that need to be removed and costs me several hundred dollars. Even when she sneezes many times a day, especially when your taking a nap. Even when she runs away and Andy and I end up looking for her in the rain for almost an hour then finally come home and she is waiting for us in the driveway. Even when she ruins our carpet because she keeps peeing in the same spot that a cat peed on. Even when she, for no apparent reason, starts chewing up our computer paper.

I like her even though she is so super cute and loves to cuddle and loves to leisurely lick our guests legs and walks kind of funny and always looks a little bit like she just rolled out of a dumpster.

I just really like her. A lot.

He ain't heavy....He's my brother

Sometimes Neil Diamond feels so good.

Talk about a lousy weekend.

I just had one of those days. I sat down after work to read my emails and it felt like I had weights in my butt pocket.
I am just so tired.

Tired mentally, tired physically, tired as in haven't gotten adequate
sleep. My past just wont let me sleep lately. And when I am awake and
working it is as though I have done this exact thing a thousand times
before.

I feel so melancholy. Just going through the motions.
I am slightly sad about something. But I'm not quite certain what it is. Well, I guess I have ideas about why I feel sad but none of them are especially new things going on in my life. Just old problems revisited.

Oddly enough, my melancholy isn't a bad thing at all. It is almost refreshing if that makes sense. I guess I should say it is just a feeling and at least it isn't an espesially painful feeling. It mostly just exists. I feel overwhelmed and completly underwhelmed all at the same time. All my feelings seem to come as a paradox these days.

I wrote this last week.

Today I stayed home from work. I have this cold that took my voice away and makes me cough a lot. It's not too bad though. I don't feel that sick, but I sound really sick and that just isn't very professional. I know I wouldn't feel good about leaving my child with someone who has a haking cough and no voice.

It has been very nice because Andy and I spent the morning cleaning and then we went and bought some incense and Arby's. It was really fun to just spend the morning goofing off. Plus, now everything is all clean. Even the pooch.

Andy is safely tucked in bed and I get to hang out till about four in our sparking new house. I don't know why that feels so good. You know, hanging around in a clean house. It is so relaxing.

I win!

Went running this morning with my two best friends Erin and Jessica. We
ran from mine and Erin's house to the local farmers market downtown. It
was only like three miles but it was so refreshing and fun. (although I
was not on my A game today, the last half mile felt like I was running
in sluge with legs made of lead.) Then Andy and Jared, Erin's husband,
came and picked us up from the market. It was really lovely.

I used to go running five days a week and now I'm doing well to go twice.
What's with that? What happened to me? One big thing is I left my only
good running shorts at my moms in Washington so I need to go pick up
another pair.

I guess the biggest reason is that my sister, Candace, joined a gym. So now she doesn't come over and run with me every other day. Bummer. I totally thought that I was going to ride her coat tails to skinny town. I was mistaken. Now she leaves me no choice. I must join her gym. There is no other way! She is the only reason that I have really stuck to running.

I suppose you can't really put a price on health anyway so 25 bucks a month could be a bargain. Right?

killing me softly with his words...

Funniest thing happened during class today. My kids had finished their
assignment and were playing on the floor with various toys when one of
them starts singing this song, which I can't for the life of me
remember. Suffice it to say it was a soft rock song from the late 90's.

Really this isn't that unusual because kids sing to themselves all the time at this age, but the really funny thing was he knew all the words.

It was so cute to hear this little boy singing some lame song his mother
probably loved. It was so much like that part in "About A Boy". The one
were he's daydreaming and starts singing that one song out loud and
everyone laughs.

Yeah... that was funny...

To whom it may concern...

I would hope that this is a place were those who read feel free to comment, good or bad, on my opinions and thoughts. I do not, however, feel it is appropriate to critique my feelings and descriptions of experiences that I have had. Snarky, passive aggressive comments are not welcome here.

Furthermore, I would remind everyone that the drivel that I write is just that; really crappy descriptions of myself and experiences I've had.

Be kind. I am not bullet proof.

One Big Cliche

Maybe, it's time to leave Salt Lake? Maybe it's time to move on and see the country?

In Dubrovnik, we met some people in our hostel. We seemed to really get along.

This is not that surprising or interesting, except they didn't know what a Mormon was. So we talked about it and talked about it, but as hard as we tried they just couldn't get it, or more likely, didn't care to get it.

It was like taking a deep breath. It's probably been ten years sense I've felt connected to anyone who didn't get it and it felt so exhilarating and new. I didn't feel defensive, or embarrassed, or frustrated. They had no preconceived notions about how I should behave or how I would think. I didn't have to feel like an outsider and didn't have to consider them outsiders.

Perhaps this doesn't any sense, but when we were talking to them, I felt so much like an individual. There was no trail of ancestors following me around dictating what my life should be like. It was just me and Andy and nothing else. Nothing else to give them any idea of who we are.

I guess my identity is more tied in with the church and my family then I had previously realized.