Maybe, it's time to leave Salt Lake? Maybe it's time to move on and see the country?
In Dubrovnik, we met some people in our hostel. We seemed to really get along.
This is not that surprising or interesting, except they didn't know what a Mormon was. So we talked about it and talked about it, but as hard as we tried they just couldn't get it, or more likely, didn't care to get it.
It was like taking a deep breath. It's probably been ten years sense I've felt connected to anyone who didn't get it and it felt so exhilarating and new. I didn't feel defensive, or embarrassed, or frustrated. They had no preconceived notions about how I should behave or how I would think. I didn't have to feel like an outsider and didn't have to consider them outsiders.
Perhaps this doesn't any sense, but when we were talking to them, I felt so much like an individual. There was no trail of ancestors following me around dictating what my life should be like. It was just me and Andy and nothing else. Nothing else to give them any idea of who we are.
I guess my identity is more tied in with the church and my family then I had previously realized.
13 comments:
The whole reason we are on this earth is for church and family--I hope that is ok with you?!
Wouldn't you like to know.
By the sound of your blog I guess I already do---but that was a funny response. Hope school is going well for you.
To be honest, I think we all feel a little like outsiders on occasion. For me, it's church and family that makes me feel accepted.
I have traveled the world too. I guess I have had the opposite reaction as you....We are all connected, all human. We all cry, get sick, feel heartache, and joy. When I see other peoples of this world, I feel a kinship. I saw an Indian woman on the tube 2 weeks ago, wiping the snot from her babies nose. I do that too. I also feel so grateful for the people who came before, and lived their best lives...to try to provide opportunity for me.
I don't understand why you all would think that my family and my religious beliefs are somehow unimportant to me. Family and beliefs are important to every human on this planet. Why would you think I am any different? Perhaps I didn't make my thoughts clear?
And I am not commenting on how I feel like an outsider here in utah. I don't. It's just the opposite. I feel so much apart of it it was a shock to experience otherwise.
Am I missing somthing here? I don't see how these comments have anything to do with the thought I was trying to portray? I feel misrepresented.
I think instead of misrepresented you meant misunderstood. You are the one who represented yourself. I guess what you were trying to say did not come across as you had hoped in your blog. sorry.
Hey friend - what is your e-mail address? I would post it all here, but don't want to incur the wrath of other readers (because you already did that for me). :) Write me at emilygoodrich@gmail.com.
Peace.
Cherie, you must have misunderstood me. In my comment, I'm talking about peace love and harmony. Those are not fighting words. :) Maybe your post was a bit unclear? Like others, I also thought you were commenting on feeling like an outsider when you said "I didn't have to feel like an outsider, and didn't have to consider them outsiders."
Cherie, please be happy...I wasn't trying to ruffle any feathers here.
love, Cali
(hey Emily, what did you mean by "wrath"...we're all sisters here)
hahaha...i'm sorry i unleashed my wrath. i must have read the post wrong.
my new response:
Utah rules.
I miss Utah. Sigh. :(
I think i understand what you are trying to say. I must also include that this feeling could also stem from coming from such a large family of OLDER sisters. You have always lived in someone's or somethings shadow. When you meet someone that had absolutely no inclining of who and what you are and stand for this excited you. What you feel is that you are pre-judged for where you go to church, but what you want is recognition for YOU and YOUR choice to live the standards that you do. You felt like a pioneer in your own kind of way. Isnt that how the pioneers where? Showing the world what a Mormon is and how they should live? I see many people moving back to Utah for all the wrong reasons thinking that the "holiness" will rub off. But what makes a person strong is not being able to live the standards around everyone else who does, but one that lives those same standards when no one is looking OR when it isnt expected. So I say to you, yes maybe it is time to move somewhere that you can start fresh and shine like a light on the hill while you are living the standards of the church and setting an example for those around you. This is what spreads the gospel, this is what brings new members to the church. Move to another area that the church is struggling, be a pioneer, help the weaker members, teach those that have never heard the word.
ubiquitous,
Who are you? You sound like you have known me at one time.
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